The 2 greatest ways to use a bowling ramp
Having your corporate work party at an AMF centre is a great way to build teamwork, but not everybody is skilled at bowling yet. Does using the ramp seem demeaning? Think again! With these two bowling ramp techniques you'll get all the strikes without ever looking lame.
First, picture yourself wearing an orange jumpsuit with bulging biceps and furious yellow hair. Now grab your ball, preferably an orange one, and hold it between both your hands at your side like you're pulling back to hit someone with it. Begin making loud 'raaagh' noises and approach the ramp slowly. Confidently place the ball at top, breaking from saying 'raaagh' to make wooshy noises with your mouth, like your surrounded by intense energy. Bring your arms back in a solid kung-fu motion - your choice of position - then thrust with all your might at the bowling ball to knock it into oblivion!
Perfect for someone who is as good at performing as they are bad at bowling. When your turn comes around, grab your ball and hide behind the ball return as if using it for cover. Begin talking in an American accent (if you have one already then you're all set) as though you were a soldier taking intense fire from the enemy, occasionally peeking out to look at the pins (the enemy). You are the last of your platoon and the only way to escape is to get the bomb (bowling ball) onto the ramp and get it away from you. Dive (literally dive) over the ball return and sprint low towards the target. Take a few bullet hits on the way for good measure and desperately place the ball at the ramp's peek. With the last of your energy, knock it down towards the pins and collapse - mission complete, soldier. You're a hero.